mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
