i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
