I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize