it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
