I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
