dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
