I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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