there's paper in my vomit.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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