dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
