sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
