He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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