I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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