I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
