This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
