Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize