I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He has the fingertips of a God
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
