They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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