I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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