Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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