Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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