Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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