Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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