I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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