I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
