Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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