sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
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Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
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Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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