ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she was so not down for the gang bang
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
