Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You are the jesus of drinking
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
