Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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