just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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