Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
