I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Someone shit on the floor
I smell stomach acid.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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