vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
