In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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