I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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