Plan B is the new Plan A
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I did not marry a roomba.
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