That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
