You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
