I'm eating all of the evidence.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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