I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
