I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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