He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
