i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
