Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
