Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
