Christians are straight up FREAKS
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
