If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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