he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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