Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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