hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
