i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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