I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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