so explain again why im purple
no
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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