wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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