i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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